If you’ve been struggling with emotional distress, you’ve probably been encouraged by a friend to go see a counselor or at least scrolled by some post on Instagram about getting help. But, as many times as people may tell you to get help, it can be hard to know how to do that.
Of course, talking with a counselor, practicing self-care, etc. sound like really good ideas, but how does one approach these things? How do you start when you are struggling financially or when your child is the one struggling or when you’re just afraid or nervous?
Getting mental health help can be overwhelming—especially when you are a parent, working and trying to juggle everything else in your life. Photo by Pexels
This is not just another “You Might Want to Consider Getting Help” post. This is a step-by-step, easy-to-swallow list of what to do to get help. So, pull out a pen or your phone and take this down:
1) Take a self-inventory.
Take 30 – 60 minutes and give yourself the chance to pull all your thoughts together.
Dr. Dean Barley, Director of the BYU Comprehensive Clinic, says to consider getting help when one or more of the following circumstances apply to you:
“When I ’m starting to feel like a danger to myself or others.
When someone who loves me or whom I respect says I should talk to someone.
[When] what I’m doing isn’t working and symptoms are interfering with my ability to perform my roles in life (e.g. work, relationships).
When I need more help than my support system can provide.
When I’m just tired of suffering.”
As you consider these things, write down your thoughts about your current situation and read over what you’ve written. Here’s a worksheet from therapistaid.com about your current self-care habits to help you get an idea of how your mental state may be affecting your daily life.
2) Talk to someone you can confide in.
Having someone to support you can help you have the courage to get the help you need. Tell them that you are starting the process of improving your mental health. If you feel like you don’t have anyone to confide in right now because of mental illness, don’t stress. Put this step off for a little while and come back to it later.
3) Get online and investigate what resources are available in your community.
There are so many specialized resources available to those even with financial struggles.
If you live in the Utah County area, here is a cheat sheet created by the BYU Comprehensive Clinic (a nonprofit mental health clinic that serves the Utah County area) that contains links to the websites of various family resources for mental health—most of them low-cost nonprofit organizations.
Additionally, Dr. Barley suggests, “You can also call 2-1-1 or go to https://211utah.org/ to find local low-cost mental health providers. If you have insurance, call their number or look for providers on their website.”
4) Pinpoint your resources and get on the phone.
Whether you choose to see a marriage and family therapist, connect with a social worker, or enroll your child in an afterschool behavior-focused program, this step can be difficult, vulnerable and freeing all at the same time. You can do it. Pick up the phone, dial the number, and simply state that you are interested in setting an appointment, checking out the facilities, learning more, etc.
Calling the resource can be the hardest part, but you can do it! Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels
5) Prepare for your first appointment.
It’s a good idea to be aware of your expectations and goals before you get to the location. Many people are afraid of awkwardness or not knowing what to say, but don’t stress. Be prepared to state who you are and why you sought out services.
5.5) What to expect at the appointment:
When you get to the location, you will need to check-in at the front desk. After checking in, you will wait a few minutes before your counselor or whoever is helping you comes to greet you. They will probably ask you about yourself, your day, and how you are to help the conversation flow naturally into why you are there. They may also directly ask you. Therapists, social workers, etc. are people, too, and approach their work in different ways. It will take a little bit of time to get to know them and feel comfortable, just like in any other relationship.
6) After the appointment, give yourself some chill time.
Try not to run out of your appointment and immediately move on with your day. Give yourself up to an hour to process what happened and how you feel about it. Talking with a counselor or starting a new resource can be overwhelming. Maybe get a snack, turn on some instrumental music and just sit and process everything for a little while.
7) Make a plan and do the work.
Therapy or whatever resource you choose, on its own, will not fix your problems. You’ve got to do your homework. Here is an example of homework that you and your therapist or caseworker might come up with:
You tend to overthink about conversations you have in social situations. Practice meditation after specific social interactions. Be present in the moment and allow your thoughts to come and go through your mind without overanalyzing them.
8) Have patience with yourself and the process.
Healing doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes getting help can bring back difficult thoughts or memories that you’ve worked to push away or ignore. Be okay with failure. Allow yourself to start fresh every day and don’t beat yourself up every time you slip.
9) Recognize your accomplishments.
As you get back into the swing of life and start to feel more like yourself again (or you discover a new, happier self that you’ve never experienced before), be sure to take the time to look back and notice how far you’ve come. Seeing your progress can help you accelerate your progress.
In closing, you can do it! If you ever get stuck or need help somewhere along this process, you can always call 2-1-1 (just dial 2-1-1)– the hotline for finding family and mental health resources available in Utah County.
Keep going, we are cheering you on!
Sources:
Dr. Dean Barley, LCSW, Ph.D., Director of the BYU Comprehensive Clinic. 2019.
Home. (2019). Retrieved October 8, 2019, from https://comprehensiveclinic.byu.edu/.
Mediware Information Systems. (n.d.). United Way 2-1-1 - Home. Retrieved October 8, 2019, from https://211utah.org/.
Related Sites. (2019). Retrieved October 8, 2019, from https://comprehensiveclinic.byu.edu/related-sites.
Self-Care Assessment . (2018). Retrieved October 8, 2019, from https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/self-care-assessment.pdf