Over the past six years, I've interacted with many scores of young people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and their families. ASD can be frustrating for parents, teachers, friends, and – perhaps most of all – affected individuals. The social difficulties and rigid, repetitive behaviors that define the disorder are often accompanied by extreme anxiety, inattention, and a range of physical health concerns. Despite the frustrations and challenges, I often find myself admiring traits in the young people affected with ASD I meet. Here are three admirable trait I encounter often:
Directness. Individuals with ASD struggle learning the complex social rules that govern human interactions. While understanding and abiding by these rules lays a foundation for a rich social life, some of these rules make life more complicated than it needs to be. I admire individuals with ASD who are refreshingly direct and honest in their interactions with me. Their directness in expressing opinions (e.g., "I hate this game.") makes me feel comfortable since I know they will tell me what they think, so I don't have to guess what they're thinking and then worry I'm guessing inaccurately. Their directness in asking for clarification (e.g., "Why are you doing that?") gives me opportunities to explain myself and helps me know if they are guessing inaccurately about what I'm thinking. Finally, their directness in stating wants and needs (e.g., "I really don't want to go to the park with Mary.") sometimes speeds the resolution of conflicts, since they are apt to lay all their cards on the table instead of giving subtle, socially-acceptable statements that often just increase misunderstanding. How often do we weaken our social relationships by being afraid to be direct?
Focus. Individuals with ASD often miss complex social information because they are more focused on other information they perceive to be more interesting or relevant to them (e.g., a child interested in time may regularly focus on the location of the sun in the sky). While this misplaced focus underlies many difficulties, it still often impresses me. Individuals with ASD sometimes seem able to focus indefinitely on things they find important and meaningful, despite the presence of ample distractions. How often do we get distracted from things that are important and meaningful? For example, how often do we break our focus on an important conversation to check a screen?
Nonconformity. Oftentimes, the object of this super-focus is something unusual, such as vacuum cleaners, exit signs, or medieval knights. Many individuals with ASD will spend hours each day talking about, reading about, and looking at items related to their special passion. I admire their nonconformity. They live their lives doing things that bring them joy, regardless of outside pressures. How many unnecessary things do we do each day, when we could spend that time doing other things that truly bring joy?
Each human being has unique strengths and weaknesses. Just as individuals diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder share some similar symptoms/weaknesses, they sometimes also share strengths. I admire the directness, focus, and nonconformity of many individuals on the autism spectrum.